. “Are you sure? I don’t want to disrupt your living arrangements.”Connie grimaced. “John, I’m a fifth wheel where I am. Inserting myself in the homes of my children has been stressful for them. I have no role in their households – I’m a guest they can’t decently get rid of. They have no privacy. They have to cater to my foibles. Here, at least, I WOULD have a role...”I wasn’t the only person in the room taken aback by this commentary. It appeared to be blatantly honest – and it was clearly unexpected.“Let me think on this,” I said. “It’s late. Please, do as you like. I’m ... tired...” I headed off to bed and took a pill to sleep. While I waited for it to take effect, I pondered Connie’s offer.With Rachel’s death, her link to me was broken – but not her link to my daughters. She WAS their grandmother, and while if I were alone, we would probably have parted company in the near future, perhaps passing cards or whatever for a few years, but not doing anything further, the presence of my. I returned to my little room in the dorms. I pretended to study. Pretended to care about whatever drivel they were teaching.In my spare time, of which there was far too much, I stared at the face in my bathroom mirror and wondered who the hell he was. He didn't look like the me I remembered. The face was sorta familiar, but it never seemed to move. His eyes looked like mine, but they were lifeless and dull. My hair was red. The emotionless fucker in the mirror, his hair was white.None of that mattered. There was only one thing I cared about anymore; getting rid of the feelings that kept going endlessly round and round inside me.I made my visits to the Army recruiter, took the tests, chose my career field and signed the papers. Got my plane ticket and swore the oath. One week. I had one week. I found Harve at a frat party, drunk off his ass. I made sure that my hair was covered up and couldn't be seen before I went in and that no one got a good look at my face. I picked Harve up.
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